Mistakes

We all make mistakes, big ones and small, we all hurt others, knowingly or by fault. But forgiveness is something that we all need to learn, forgetting and moving on is the only key to hold. What i know is, we hurt people we love the most. We take them for granted and say what we feel, not thinking even once that they are not the reason for our tears.
We get only what we deserve, be it good or bad. We need to learn that it's never in other people's hands. We feel better when we blame someone and point fingers, coz then it is their fault and not our own actions. It is easy to dwell in self pity saying i don't have this or that, but its only when you are true to yourself, you realize you have more than some others have.
We think of "I", we think of "me" we only think of "myself", but the fact is that you wouldn't be you without the external influence. I have done my share of hurting my close family and friends. Said things i never meant to and blamed them for my unhappiness.
A friend once told me i could never be happy if i seek it from someone else, its only within me and in my heart that it exists and it is only there it will be found.
Happiness attracts happiness and pain only pain, so when i question why i am hurting, the answer should be plain. I wouldn't be hurting if i was happy, happy within myself. Why seek for external love without loving oneself? Why blame others for not giving you what you want, when you do the same to yourself?
When i think of things, i ask myself, have u given yourself all that you could give? Have you respected yourself the way you want to be respected? The answer comes so quick to me that i am blinded by its strength, no i have never given myself, the things i crave from friends.
So then i stop, think and say, i have made many mistakes. I have always held people responsible for the things that don't go my way.
Today i want to say sorry, hoping they all hear me. I want to say i am sorry for the person that was me.