A nice day !

So Spring is in, i love everything ! Today i went for a walk along the Quai (that is the water side), sat in the sun under a flowering tree in full blossom. I watched little kids playing in the water, laughing and giggling.
I watched people, old and young, all out there, soaking up the sun. The Spring fever is spread everywhere, there is new hope and joy for all. How can one be unhappy when the sun shines bright and happy ? I enjoyed taking in all the activity that was happening around me, knowing it will not be long before i will be moving away form here and leaving behind this fun and joy. A Wednesday afternoon spent lazying in the sun, is something i could never have imagined doing back home. Weekdays are for working, not wasting time, but here, i seem to have all the time !
I sat gossiping and laughing with a friend, after which we walked to a nice mela, where there were more people, all enjoying the rides and games. We laughed, we stood watching people scream in fear, we watched little kids walking around with balloons and stuffed toys. Families out there, with their kids, who would say it was mid week !
Overall a good day i had, with sun, laughter, walks et all !

Emotions

Why do emotions hit us at the most unwanted moments ? Just when you feel everything is going right and you are happy with life, poof, out crawl these emotions which no matter what, you just can't hide.
I thought i was happy with everything around me, i had finally succeeded in swatting away the negative emotions inside me. But no, out they crawled today, sneering at me, laughing at the thought of being free. Free to crawl out and make me feel blue. There are thoughts that cross my mind, sometimes once in a while, then they become more frequent and then they end up being all that i think of, all of the time. Thoughts like these do take over my mind once in a while. Where i feel completely lost, just fighting with time.
I sit here today, not knowing what i want to do in life. I have no list of things i want, nor things i don't. There was a time my life was so simple, i always knew what i wanted at that point of time and i followed those emotions and got it all. I made mistakes, i did have falls, but all the time, i was moving on. But today i sit and think, what do i want and i am as blank as a white wall. I am scared to start from scratch and learn something new, and at the same time i am not keen on continuing what i always believed i was meant to do.
All these years i knew at least some things would always be stable in my life, now suddenly i am doubting everything in my life. Why thoughts, why do you crawl out and trouble me so, i don't want to think along your lines, i want you to just let me go. Fly like the birds, free spirited and high, with no destination, no hurry to get anywhere on time.

Sunday

It's been 5 years i have been living alone now, and i have forgotten what its like to have a Sunday at home with family and hot food and what seems like a normal life for all. What's in a Sunday i ask, that makes me feel so alone and lost ? Is it the fact that its a holiday and everyone is with someone or the other and i am not? But then that's not true, i do spend Sunday's with friends, but it's just never the same.
I go back to my Sunday brooding where i feel low and lost, wanting things i cannot have and telling myself it's all my fault. I guess it's true, i can't have my cake and eat it too .

Pattes d'Ours

Everyone around me was talking about taking me to eat pattes d'ours on Sunday. Pattes d'Ours translated into English is, Bear's paws. Now, i kept asking everyone what it was and they just grinned and said, oh have some patience, you will see on Sunday morning. Knowing the french and the different meat's they eat, i had reason to be a little scared about this dish they were gearing up to feed me !
So Sunday morning dawned, and as planned the 2 teachers from my school and me left for a breakfast in the village, on a sunny terrace. What was ordered was this lovely pastry and a cup of coffee. I looked at it, wondering how it would taste, but seeing the chocolate on the outside, i was already happy with it. I took a bite and tasted a yummy cream. It was a delicious breakfast as they had claimed it to be ! No more fear for me, as this turned out to be oh so yummy ! I licked my plate off the few drops of cream that had fallen out, the sweetness of the pastry with the bitter of the coffee was the perfect way to start my Sunday grinning !
So the next time you are in the South west Pyrenees region of France, do go ahead and try this yummy croissant form. It is delicious and filled with calories, this i can assure, but a sin you will enjoy and not regret or remorse !

I will miss France and the French

A few months back if anyone asked me if i would miss this place and feel bad about going back, i would answer, i will miss the people, but i'll be thrilled to go back. Now after almost 6 months here, i say, i am going to miss this place terribly and i am going to miss the people even more. I have a tear rolling down already thinking of leaving behind this life, these friends, this family and this house. These cats, this food, this culture, this life. Suddenly i don't realize where 6 months went, where the time flew and how this stay has come to an end.
I want to capture every moment, every minute every thing. I want to take it back with me, and make it last forever.
I will miss you France, much more than u can ever think.

A lovely surprise

It was on Wednesday, i had a long tiring day. A full day out with all the kids, visits to a museum and a cave and a long long bus ride. We left soon after breakfast and reached back just in time for dinner. I was exhausted, cold, miserable and down with fever. i was aching all over, i was teary eyed and sick. I missed home and all my things. I wanted to get off the bus and just get into bed, but no, i had to trudge along as i knew it and finish dinner. I reached the cafeteria, red eyed and shivering. I didn't want to eat nor speak to anyone. I plonked myself on a far away chair, so as not to have a conversation over dinner, when the director of the center came to me and said, cheer up, i have a surprise for you today ! I looked at him, to see if he was just saying it to cheer me up, but no, there i saw a twinkle in his eyes ! I suddenly felt excited like a little child and kept thinking in my head what could he be talking about.
Finally one by one, everyone came in for dinner, we sat around the table as usual and waited to be served. The soup arrived as usual, and it instantly warmed me up, while i was still excited about the surprise coming up.
Soon after soup, as the bowls were cleared up, the kitchen service ladies come with food instead of the usual plates served up. Before i had time to realize what it was, there was a complete Indian dinner laid out in front ! My jaw dropped open and my eyes popped out, to see tandoori chicken, chicken curry and mix vegetable and basmati rice all steaming hot ! The director was grinning while all of us others were in shock. Everyone urged me to try the dishes and tell them how it had turned out. It was the most delicious spread i had eaten in a long long time, made with indian spices, but a touch of french love. When i asked who cooked it, the service ladies said, the director and his wife spent the afternoon getting ingredients and cooking it. I was touched with their gesture to make me feel at home and before i knew it, i felt a tear roll. I asked them if i could eat with my fingers as i do at home and they said yes sure, its our pleasure. A few of them were daring enough to put away their knives and forks and asked me to show them how to eat with their fingers. It was a fun dinner with laughter and cries, with sweat dripping off foreheads with all the spice. It was a great surprise and i could not wipe off my grin, i was so glad i had not decided to act cranky and skip dinner that evening !
Later that evening as i said thank you, i could see the director was as happy as me. I am glad to have met all the people there, who have made a special place in my heart and will forever stay there.

Teachers can be fun

From when i was in school, i always feared teachers. They had to be listened to, obeyed and their word was final. Punishments doled out by them was a black mark on the student and i never wanted to be caught on the wrong side of things. Childhood fear of teachers and immense respect for them continued till now. Even as a school teacher here, i never felt at ease and one with the other teachers, since i could never get over the fact that i was now one of their team. Teachers were teachers and the principal was someone to be feared. I was always in awe of them and scared to talk unless i had to.
But the last two weeks changed a lot for me. I realized teachers can and are fun. Not just with other adults, but with students as well. They have an authority, but they are not strict for no reason. They are loving and caring and protective and just like parents. Spending 2 weeks with these teachers was a learning experience for life. They taught me a lot, simply about life. They helped me with my french, taught me new things, never laughed but showed only patience. I was no more scared to ask questions and doubts, no longer afraid to talk with the fear of showing them my faults. I learned a lot from them, about academics, psychology and even every day things. I learned from them how to make beds perfectly, how to arrange a cupboard, they taught me french culture and food and everything. They took a lot of trouble to make me feel at home, to make me feel one of them. I told them my fear of teachers and they never laughed at me, just made sure they didn't push me. I realized teachers are smart, teachers are kind, they are the one's who can make or break a child. So much i learned from them, i hope to turn out to be like them. Someone people can trust and depend.
A big hug and a thank you to all of them, for making my vacation a memorable event !

Of snowman, snow fights and igloos !

Winter and snow has its own special fun. Coming from a place where it never ever snows, this was my first contact with winter, snow and mountains. To add to my luck, this winter trip, it snowed. Not just light flakes for a few hours, but heavy snow for more than 24 hours ! It was cold, but gorgeous and i couldn't get over the fact that i was standing there in deep snow !
With the kids and a few teachers, we all went out to enjoy this beautiful weather. A long trek in the snow, building a snowman and an igloo and having a snow fight, teachers verses kids ! It was all the things i had always read in books, that i never imagined myself to take part in. It was so much fun and tiring too ! By the end of the the trek, i was sweating even with the below 0 temperatures and snowing.
It was too much fun to see the kids enjoying themselves, all coming from the city where it hardly ever snows !
It was a fun filled day with memories to save for the rest of my life, that winter trek and the fun with snow i had. The smiles on the kid's faces as big as mine, all of us one and enjoying the sight !
Who says seasons are for marking the year, i think each one has a charm and a story behind. A mug of hot chocolate after a snowfall is as much fun as a sun filled afternoon spent on a beach in calm. I am once again in love with winters and snowmen and all, and i wish i can re-live this experience sometime soon again in my life. I already miss the white powder-y feeling of it on my nose and face, of how i love the mountains and the winter there !

First day of Ski

I woke up that morning with butterflies in my stomach, could hardly digest breakfast with the thought of skiing that afternoon. Friends had told me stories about how much they had fallen and how tough it was, and i was as nervous as the few kids who were beginners at ski like me.
The afternoon came and we all left with our ski gear to the ski stations. there, trudging along the distance between the bus and the snow, with ski boots and skis and a lot of fear. It was my first encounter with so much snow and i was excited and happy and scared and nervous all at the same time. Finally, i learn't to wear my snow boots, clipped on my skis and off i was for my first lesson. We were all made to stand in a row, then the monitors talked for a while on safety while skiing, how to balance, move, slide and some other technical things. Finally one by one, we had to slide down the baby slope, while the ski monitors judged our skills and broke us into smaller groups. My turn came, the kids cheered me on.... i was freaked and my heart was beating way too fast. Off i went with a little push from the monitors and within 2 seconds was no longer skiing but sitting on the ground, red in my face and the ski monitor trying to help me up. Ok, i knew from the start i was going to fall, so i pretended not to be embarrassed, but moved back into the line for my second trial. Two hours, different groups formed, and i still could not stand on my ski's at all ! I couldn't stop myself, if at all i managed to stay on my skis and slide down ! The ski lesson was finally over and i was hurting and now a part of group number 4, where there were a bunch of us, absolute non skiers !
I was glad to be off the ski's and into my normal shoes, far away from the snow, not at all wanting to think of the next day of ski !

The winter class finally

We left 2 weeks back, a bus load of kids and adults, 57 kids and 6 adults to be precise. We were off for the winter class, with skiing and treks and museum visits and adventures. I was regretting having agreed to go on the trip, when i saw the chaos early that morning. Kids and parents and teachers and school staff, all gathered around excitedly around the bus. the driver loading in the bags, parents shouting out last minute instructions to kids, teachers trying to be calm within all the mess they were in. In a few minutes from reaching there, i was given some work, so off i went, shuttling between bags and the bus, making sure all the things were loaded in properly. Finally after a final check and a lot of goodbye's, we were off on the trip. I was shy and didn't really know what to do, where to sit. Everyone seemed to know everyone, so i went to the last seat and sat with some of the kids. I slept through most of the bus ride, feeling like an utter idiot for having come on the trip. Regret was creeping into my heart, right from the start.
But the journey went smooth, i made small talk with kids and teachers when we stopped for a break, i pretended i had no problem hanging around alone and not knowing what to talk to anyone. Finally we reached the Cabrit ( the place where we would be staying ) and the confusion started again. Bags unloading, children screaming, everyone hungry and excited. I was completely lost and just stayed aside, trying not to do anything wrong or come in people's way, people who all knew what their duties were. Finally the principal of my school realized i was lost and so took me for a tour around the residence. Showed me the dorms, the class rooms and the restaurant. Surprisingly, in no time, i was feeling at ease and lunch went off fairly smoothly, with the staff of the Cabrit and us from school.
Up to the rooms we went, unpacked and relaxed for a while since there was nothing planned for that day. Instructions were given to kids, books distributed and the normal chaos continued till dinner time. After dinner, kids were sent up to sleep, we made sure they all had their showers and were tucked into bed soundly, preparing for the next day full of ski !