Today's fortune...

So Orkut has this thing on the top, a section for "Today's fortune" where they give their one line gyan for the day. This morning when i checked on mine it said, "A friend is someone who knows you and loves you all the same". It is so true. Whom can we call a true friend? Someone who knows how you grumble when you are tired or sleepy, knows what makes you happy and what ticks you off. Has the patience through one of your sudden temper tantrums, or at times, simply tantrums for the sake of having them, but loves you all the same. Loves you with the entire package deal you come along with.
People come into our lives and people leave. Most of them judge you too quickly, from only what they want to see. They decide if you are good or not, if you are worthy of their friendship and time or not. These are the one's who believe they have lot of friends and so they have a right to keep you or not. While there are others whom you shoo off every time, be rude when you are angry and shower love when you are not, whom you get all your irritation and true colors out on, but yet these people patiently wait for you to bounce back, for you to feel better and all right. They will be the one's to come first to you, not when you are happy, but when you are sad. They are the one's you can call at anytime without having to think if its the right time or not. Everyone is blessed with a handful of those few, and here is a cheers to all those are have made my life extra special with just being there through old and new :)

A long day

There are days when u wake up in the morning, just knowing it's going to be a long day. You can feel the undone things rush through your head. Then you peek your head out of the blanket and its freezing cold and you think to yourself, oh no !
This morning i woke at an insanely early hour, and literally fought with all my might to get myself out of the blanket and get, set, start. My feet moved slowly, getting used to the cold all around, while my head tried to find reasons to cancel all my days plans. I tried to think of all possible reasons, like im still infectious from my flu and it will be better kids don't get it from me in school. I fought what we all do, the good and the evil within us, i drowned a huge mug of coffee hoping i would be more up. Nothing helped to push back the start.
I left when the sun was not even up, and dragged my feet till the bus stop. Stood in the cold and waited for the bus, all the time dreaming of a day without class. The bus came after a long long wait, i chose my favorite seat next to the heating and at once my eyes shut and i was lost in space. Woke up when i was nearing my stop, thanking my starts that i managed to get up. I dragged my feet from the bus till my school and here i tried not to lose my cool. The door wouldn't open no matter how much i tried, so i was stuck out waiting in the cold till someone realized. Into my first class and students decide that today will be the day to make the most noise. already at 8.30 in the morning feeling my headache rise, i took a deep breath and started to organize.
Now im sitting here after an eventful morning with sorting kids fights and singing " when you happy and you know it" at the top of my voice. I still have a long way to go on till the school and my day come to an end, and the only thing i can think of is a warm warm bed !

Sleepless-ness

Its past 1 am and im lying in bed. I want to sleep, but my eyes refuse to shut and let me rest. Am i stressed? If yes, then about what? Am i worried? No i am not. Then why do my eyelids refuse to shut, even though i feel mentally and physically drained out? I want to shout out loud and just get it all out, these feelings of uneasiness that i have all about. So many questions, so many doubts, oh so many things to figure out. What do i want, what do i not, why do these thoughts always come out when i am exhausted to the last drop? Please let me sleep, i tell my mind, take away these thoughts and questions that u unwind. Stop playing the same thoughts over and over again, it is useless i tell you and will drive me insane.
I tried breathing in and breathing out just like i have been taught to relax, but nothing seems to help me on this dreadful spot. I am thinking of things over and over, trying to turn my minds from nightmares to happy thoughts. But for some reason today, they just refuse to let me rest, its endless thoughts filled with unrest.

Its all in the way we see ourselves

My first reaction to anything i used to see in the past was, "i can't do it" or "it's too tough" or "i am not good enough" ! Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we always underestimate ourselves? Why are we so scared to even try, just imagining that we are not good enough compared to people all around ?
It is not that we lack something physically or mentally, thankfully we are all blessed to be healthy and happy. It's only in our state of mind that it exists, this feeling of underestimating ourselves. We let other people tell us we are not good enough, because in our hearts we ourselves believe such stuff. We are no better or worse than others around us, but we have to learn to believe it, even if it seems so tough. What makes the lion the king of the jungle? It's not its size and definitely not its strength. There are other animals bigger than it and some others that are stronger, yet we say the lion is the king. Why is that? It is only because he comes out and shows himself with confidence. Life is nothing but self confidence, knowing that we are as good as we want ourselves to be. Each one of us can be a lion and feel like a king, if only we have the courage to see ourselves in that setting. So pull on your mane's and give a roar, you are not any lesser than those people who make you feel smaller than them. Stand side by side with anyone you feel, with your head held high and eyes full of dreams. Nothing can stop you from winning any race, if you only have the self confidence to participate in the first place !

Alone in a land of far far away

I feel like the only leaf on this barren branch. Where the cold has taken away all the leaves, but this one is trying to be brave and strong and fight the weather with all its strength.
I woke up yesterday morning feeling a little sick, but i told myself, it was just the fear of going to school in below 0 degrees. I tried to cheer up, cover myself warm, i went to school, though still feeling sick. I worked the entire morning trying not to give this feeling much importance. I had plans to meet a friend after school, so i stuck to it, thinking there is no apparent reason for me to come back home and rest. So i spent the day gallivanting all over town, trying to tell myself, the extreme body pain was just a reaction to the cold all around. I got back home shivering and feeling down, and suddenly felt like i had no energy to even get myself a hot cup of coffee or tea and calm down. I tried to be cheerful and told no1 about how i was feeling, just pulled up the covers and went to sleep. Woke up feeling sicker than i have felt in days, shivering and cold and not at ease.
I felt more alone than i could ever feel, not having anyone to explain what i was feeling in my own language. The fear of seeing a doctor in this strange far away land, the fear and feeling of being all alone made me more sad. Life teaches us many things, and this is a lesson too. Not always will i have someone to take care of me and be there for me. There will come times, when i will have to fight alone, No matter how strong the wind around me and no matter how alone.

Days go by

7 months ! 7 months ! They Seemed so endless when i got here. Time had taken a decision to move at its own painfully slow pace. Passing from one day to the next used to seem like a hurdle and smiling through it an even bigger test. But now the time is running, faster than a horse. The tickets are in hand and the return is looming ahead at last.
I am sad about leaving here, this family and this life. I am sad about the fact that i might never meet the wonderful people that are now a part of my life. I will miss the stinky cheese, the bitter and strong coffee, i will miss the raw fish and all that is typically french-ish ! I will miss walking down rue St. Catherine, hogging on nutella crepes and window shopping. I will miss the endless hours spent chatting with my friends, i will miss all these crazy french ways.
But all the same, i am counting the days left to go home. Meet the people i love, the weather so nice, the food so yum and all that is just so right ! I am waiting to get off the plane and run out into my land, with its heat and noise and everything !

Bring in the new year

A new year brings in hopes, a new year brings in dreams, a new year brings in things all bright and clean. A new year brings in happiness of new things to come, a new year leaves behind sadness of all things lost. It is a chance to clean the slate and say, here is a fresh new start to my day. It is an excuse we can say, to celebrate or to shrug behind heavy baggage.
Like everyone else, i start this year with new hopes and dreams. I start it by trying to polish my slate clean. No new year resolutions for me this time, just a hope of living to be the best me i can be ...