I knew when the time came to go back to India, i would feel bad, but i would so dangerously sway between emotions, i had never thought at all. Every morning i wake up counting days left to get back home, feeling excited and putting my day to a start. I meet friends, i visit places, i go to my favorite cafes and brasseries. By afternoon, it sinks in that only a handful of days are left, and then i feel miserable and at times even shed a tear. I then rush around like a headless chicken, eating, visiting, talking , gossiping and taking in every bit of this city and the people living within. By evening i come home exhausted, mentally and physically drained and then i get on my computer and talk to family and friends back home. There again, i start feeling excited with the thought of going back home and meeting them soon, that i quickly forget my all day long blues.
Seriously, what is this madness i ask myself, am i happy to be going back or not at all ? I don't know what i am feeling right now as i pen down my thoughts, but this sure is a feeling i have never had in the past !
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2 comments:
A friend who spent 1 year in Arizona said to me that she thinks she will spend the rest of her life with 1 leg in Tucson and 1 in Bombay, coz she has left some of herself behind in the US yet she was never fully herself while she was there...making any sense?
I think we all leave a part of ourselves in every where we live! Even though you know there are good things ahead, there are soo many good things you're leaving behind. and the pendulum like emotions are totally understandable! big hugs!
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