These last endless months, all i wanted was to go back to Bangalore and get back to the life i was used to there. But today, with my tickets in hand and my flight just a few hours away, i have only apprehension in my heart and mind. I don't want to go. I want to stay back in the safety of home. I know nothing will be the same, simply because i have changed. I have been away for a year and i suddenly feel, i don't even know the place. I am unsure about my friends, my life, my work and every possible thing.
Then why was i so adamant, why did i fight with my parents saying i had to go back to Bangalore and now why don't i have the courage to simply say, ok, i wont go back, i will give my own city a try. What has changed? I wish i knew. The only thing i know is, i am feeling blue. I hate change, i always did, but life has given me nothing but unstable standing stages. Every few years i am forced to move, sometimes back to familiar places and sometimes to new. It doesn't excite me, it never did, i just want to settle down for a bit.
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3 comments:
well you had settled down in Blore before and it's not like you have to settle down again... you're just continuing what u did before. Apprehension is totally understandable but u'll see once u get there, it will be fine. you'll know why u fought to go back
I don't know why this post makes me smile, something to do with settling down I guess.
After 3 years in Bangalore, I wonder if it is time to move again. Not because I do not like the place, but because the place doesn't excite me like it did once upon a time.
--Hyde
CHANGE IS THE UNCHANGEABLE LAW OF NATURE
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